Monday, 29 October 2012

From a Gay Man to Karan Johar- Perspective Check

(Disclaimer: I'm neither homosexual, nor a man. I just know some wonderful men who are. I am also easily angered, especially on any choices being removed from the mix, hence assuming a voice on behalf.

One must always be allowed to choose, how else can we settle the eternal debate

Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey
Cookie Dough ?

Also: Have blog, Will type)

Dear KJo,

Alright, you're one of us and proud of it. That gives you a grand total of two points. It's mostly downhill from here.

It started with the Kantaben joke in Kal ho na ho. While fairly funny, they bordered on stereotypical. Then there was, Dostana, where the only concession was the fact that you made a large storyline around the issue, in main stream cinema.

As adorable as the song was  (ref: maa da ladla), seeing you repeat the act in Student of The Year, compels me to write this letter.

At a time when some closed minds are willing to consider being open, must you project us in a horribly regressive, stereotypical, effeminate and a powder blue suit wearing, light ? (if you did your research well, you'd know that most gay men have evolved sartorial choices, none of which include a head to toe, powder blue suit !)

Yes, most gay men are fabulously groomed and no one appreciates this better than a straight woman. I would rather be gay and partial to pastels than be straight and feel it my jat duty to endorse Ed Hardy. Of course, every Ed hardy wearing muskkle boy, is also sporting shiny, snake skin dress shoes. With low waist, stone washed jeans and a watch with a chain strap so loose, its almost like a man bracelet.

Now were you to represent every straight man like this, wouldn't most of them be horrified and frankly no one come watch your films? Much like it it takes all sorts of smart/ forward thinking/ douchebags to make the straight crowd, it takes all sorts to make the gay crowd as well.

Of course, no one ever assumed that you would make a sensitive film, like My Brother Nikhil. The catch is that  gazillions will watch your film, especially a film as candy floss as Student of the Year. Most of this audience is the Indian counterpart of a Hannah Montana loving generation (tweens)

It would seem a tad idiotic then, to feed their minds with such archaic views of what gay men are like. Especially at a time when minds are mostly closed and debates still fresh !

You must then, repeat after me

1. In my next film , I will not use a sexual orientation as comic relief. I shouldn't need to, I can just use Tushar Kapoor- that will be the audience cue to laugh.

2. I will also, evolve above symbolic gestures like a drooping hand and a man showing excitement by chewing his tie. No one ever does that, except probably Bobby Deol , whenever someone remembers his name from the cast of Dostana.

3. I will not use gay men as an excuse to flash John Abraham's rear. Ok, scratch that. Most gay men and straight women did not mind that. Moving on.

4. I will do my research. And no matter how big the chandelier or the grand staircase on my set , I will not let it compensate for lack of sensitivity.

Otherwise the real Dean Vashishth will get very angry !

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