Monday, 9 April 2012

Like a bullet to the brain.


Man invented three great tools of social need-
Fire, The Wheel and the ‘Like’ button on Facebook.

Facebook has changed the way we live- or spend time at work.
Of course, you already knew that. But do you agree? Did you agree, and like what you just read?

It's easy to trace the history of the Like button on Facebook. A lonely programmer was rejected by his online date 2cute2care.
2cute2care found out that the programmer was not really Mr. Zuckerberg, just Mr. Zuck. 
Mr. Zuck, reeling from heart-ache, installed the ‘Like’ button for the world. No more rejection for anyone. Ever.

Little did Zucky (Aside- Mr Zuck should have been shown this sort of affection earlier and maybe this move could’ve been thwarted), know- The ‘like’ button on Facebook is a sociological experiment.
 It's the social media verb for admiration, affection, insecurity, jealousy and sometimes ill-concealed disdain.

Some very interesting trends, observed on news-feeds across the world, are :

1. Hit 'Like' or you're IT  ---  These people will like everything you, or any of their friends, update.
Had a baby? Thought about war? Burped a little ? - LIKE. 

Most of their time, is spent trolling friends' activities and 'liking' as much as they can- it is an assertion of their association with you, sometimes proprietorship and almost always a pee-ing around your account.

Of course, there is always an evil twin- Those who will barely like anything.
They would earlier switch to Timeline, than 'like' too much, too frequently. Tolstoy once said, too much news-feed familiarity breeds contempt.

2. The Ex-factor --- Relationships have evolved/degenerated post Facebook. Not only is it impossible for your ex to disappear; now you have to deal with pictures of their new, duck-faced lovers. This translates as well to current lovers and pictures of their ex-es.

You could always look at the pictures and gag- however, that belies the not caring that you are obviously doing.

From the motel on the High Road, where you live, there is no other option but to 'like' the picture.
Did that signify that you were happy for them? Hardly. It was an affirmation to his 400+ friends that you couldn't care less- even if their babies, would now have webbed feet.

3. Cementing new friendships - You meet a delightful new person you would love to be friends with. 

Step 1- Add them on Facebook.

Step 2 – In olden times, this would ordinarily mean--Going out, getting coffee and sharing common interests (but suggesting that , may make you come across as creepy).

The only sane thing to do-- is discreetly 'like' their activity on facebook- a picture here, a status there. This just helps fill the gap between Meeting 1 and 2.

4. Why you're too cool for school-   What you 'like' is an extension of who you are.
Links to avant -garde exhibitions and sepia toned, Instagram-med photography?
Louis Vuitton, Elle and Suneeta’s Boutique Sale? It's the Cliff Notes version of you, or who you'd like to be.

This is just social commentary. After you're done reading, I want you to knock yourself out silly,
like-ing, the hell out of this.

That's how Zuckerberg would've wanted it.





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